I have been on a little journey - one which started by taking others on a journey. I was the tour guide but as is often the case with tour guides I was blagging a little bit when I first started, but the more I have pounded the same ground the more confident I am.
I am now much clearer of my 'calling'/purpose in life/mission/[insert other equally not-quite-right-words].
All I am to do is live my life to the fullest - enjoy the people I live with and bump into along the way. Love them and be there for them. Painful process to learn the lessons learned long ago!
I do long for everyone I love to know that God loves them - I'm going to get better at playing my part in that.
Brain Mclaren's book Naked Spirituality ( http://brianmclaren.net/archives/books/brians-books/naked-spirituality-a-life-with-g-1.html ) is really helpful, and I am currently only praying the word "here", I pray more often, in more contexts and I am growing in my faith. Simple and elegant solution to wondering what God wants for me - meet God in the daily ups and downs and I am increasingly sensing God's own presence. The side effects? I am a more effective tour guide as I have a better clue about what I am looking at and pointing to. I said I am only praying the word "here", that's not true, I am increasingly wanting to pray for people in need and actually doing the praying, not just thinking I will sometime.
How does prayer work? I have no idea. I am hoping to get to a workshop on the theology and philosophy of prayer at Inspire6 on 25th February http://www.lancashiremethodist.org.uk/inspire.html maybe I'll see you there?
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Friday, July 8, 2011
That woman is a super hero
"Set up signposts to mark your trip home.
Get a good map.
Study the road conditions.
The road out is the road back.
Come back, dear virgin Israel,
come back to your hometowns.
How long will you flit here and there, indecisive?
How long before you make up your fickle mind?
God will create a new thing in this land:
A transformed woman will embrace the transforming God!"
Jeremiah 31:21&22 The Message
I thought I needed to take note of the path I am traveling as I will be coming back this way one day, but I am now wondering if this is my return journey and that is why things are feeling so familiar.
I have a memory like a sieve and I seem to be like this with movies especially. When watching Hancock with she who is 12, I said I reckoned there was something about the wife which made me suspect she was a super hero, and I amazed said 12 year old who said she hadn't seen that coming first time she watched it - I felt chuffed coz she is really into films. So I told Ben that night and he told me we had all watched it together a few months before. It was really familiar but I hadn't remembered it. Rather annoyingly I did the same thing with The Usual Suspects and declared a guess at who-it-is, only to figure out in the final scene that I've seen it before, having now ruined it for those I was watching with.
Of these paths I am now, some of them feel familiar. This time I am taking note of the landmarks.
The Contemporary English Bible presents the last line like this...
"I will make sure that someday
things will be different,
as different as a woman
protecting a man"
I like that kind of new thing - a lot. The question I am wrestling with at the moment, is can the new thing be a lay person leading a church?
I am finding increasing numbers of like minded souls, but they all appear to be Ordained, or Candidating, which is more than little worrying as I have been avoiding that particular lifestyle for 25 years now. Surely a lay woman can lead a church? What is Ordination anyway? What are Sacraments? I really really struggle to see why some can and some cannot.... but as I said when I was 21 in my final Local preacher interview when the wicked Leo Osborn asked if I thought this was an initial step before ordination, I replied, 'no, I don't have magic fingers to wave over the bread'. I still don't, but I do long to share the bread.
Then there is the proper good news in these verses, the bit I need to really focus on....
It is God who does the creating of new things, not me. What a relief for everyone.
Get a good map.
Study the road conditions.
The road out is the road back.
Come back, dear virgin Israel,
come back to your hometowns.
How long will you flit here and there, indecisive?
How long before you make up your fickle mind?
God will create a new thing in this land:
A transformed woman will embrace the transforming God!"
Jeremiah 31:21&22 The Message
I thought I needed to take note of the path I am traveling as I will be coming back this way one day, but I am now wondering if this is my return journey and that is why things are feeling so familiar.
I have a memory like a sieve and I seem to be like this with movies especially. When watching Hancock with she who is 12, I said I reckoned there was something about the wife which made me suspect she was a super hero, and I amazed said 12 year old who said she hadn't seen that coming first time she watched it - I felt chuffed coz she is really into films. So I told Ben that night and he told me we had all watched it together a few months before. It was really familiar but I hadn't remembered it. Rather annoyingly I did the same thing with The Usual Suspects and declared a guess at who-it-is, only to figure out in the final scene that I've seen it before, having now ruined it for those I was watching with.
Of these paths I am now, some of them feel familiar. This time I am taking note of the landmarks.
The Contemporary English Bible presents the last line like this...
"I will make sure that someday
things will be different,
as different as a woman
protecting a man"
I like that kind of new thing - a lot. The question I am wrestling with at the moment, is can the new thing be a lay person leading a church?
I am finding increasing numbers of like minded souls, but they all appear to be Ordained, or Candidating, which is more than little worrying as I have been avoiding that particular lifestyle for 25 years now. Surely a lay woman can lead a church? What is Ordination anyway? What are Sacraments? I really really struggle to see why some can and some cannot.... but as I said when I was 21 in my final Local preacher interview when the wicked Leo Osborn asked if I thought this was an initial step before ordination, I replied, 'no, I don't have magic fingers to wave over the bread'. I still don't, but I do long to share the bread.
Then there is the proper good news in these verses, the bit I need to really focus on....
It is God who does the creating of new things, not me. What a relief for everyone.
Monday, July 4, 2011
this is not a cul-de-sac
I went to work today and did my duty, and then I bumped into a young man from the church I grew up in, and I knew he is now a big proper grown up, and was an VentureFX person, so for some reason the first thing I said was 'how do you know when what you are doing is church?'
Not a usual way to start a conversation with someone your little brother was in Youth Group with!
But Ric Stott is a star, and took my musings seriously, and of the many insightful things he said, the one which is still with me this evening, is that exploring the question of what church is, or is not, is not a cul-de-sac.
So I will carry on asking this question, including the place of worship.
Which others at Methodist Conference are also asking - including Martyn Atkins in his General Sec report, and indeed is an issue the Missing Generation Report is also highlighting. And then there is all the stuff on pastoral theology.
All of this is crucial for me as I muse on the new church I long to be a part of
Not a usual way to start a conversation with someone your little brother was in Youth Group with!
But Ric Stott is a star, and took my musings seriously, and of the many insightful things he said, the one which is still with me this evening, is that exploring the question of what church is, or is not, is not a cul-de-sac.
So I will carry on asking this question, including the place of worship.
Which others at Methodist Conference are also asking - including Martyn Atkins in his General Sec report, and indeed is an issue the Missing Generation Report is also highlighting. And then there is all the stuff on pastoral theology.
All of this is crucial for me as I muse on the new church I long to be a part of
Monday, June 27, 2011
the teaching from teenage years is being retaught
A week on retreat within my life, has led to some interesting developments. None of which sound ground breaking, all of which have changed my life and all of which I was taught as a young person and am being re taught now.
Just because I have resigned from jobs at church with the expectation of starting something new, I do not have to start anything immediately, or indeed ever!
I do suspect that I need some time out of doing, to ground my being, so that whatever comes next I am ready for. I am called by god to be me, not to do. It might be that from being me, certain things happen- indeed that is inevitable and good.
So my message to myself, and anyone else is, get grounded in god, be strong in your being and let god shape the mission.
During retreat i prayed through a passage in Jeremiah, and might share the reflections here in due course.
Already an outcome has been that I have been braver in leading prayers with groups. With a preachers away day I led a guided reflection based on woman at the well and set in 24 hour supermarket, the following day led paper chain prayers with non Christians, both of which I would have avoided a week ago. Would probably have led more structured prayers , but feel much freer and increased confidence in gods spirit to do what she needs in each person present.
Just because I have resigned from jobs at church with the expectation of starting something new, I do not have to start anything immediately, or indeed ever!
I do suspect that I need some time out of doing, to ground my being, so that whatever comes next I am ready for. I am called by god to be me, not to do. It might be that from being me, certain things happen- indeed that is inevitable and good.
So my message to myself, and anyone else is, get grounded in god, be strong in your being and let god shape the mission.
During retreat i prayed through a passage in Jeremiah, and might share the reflections here in due course.
Already an outcome has been that I have been braver in leading prayers with groups. With a preachers away day I led a guided reflection based on woman at the well and set in 24 hour supermarket, the following day led paper chain prayers with non Christians, both of which I would have avoided a week ago. Would probably have led more structured prayers , but feel much freer and increased confidence in gods spirit to do what she needs in each person present.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
i fear the church_ after all this time
On Sunday I challenged the congregation to make a commitment that every step they take this week to be the footsteps of an authentic follower of Jesus. My commitment was to be the real me in all my persona... Twitter, Facebook, work, home etc.
And what have I found?
I've found that I fear bring the real me on Twitter as so many people there are part of 'the church'.
And yet, I was not able to avoid the commitment I had made on Sunday as there were so many tweets from the Christian new media conference that were exploring issues of authenticity, persona etc that I was faced with my explorations regularly.
So it was 'the church' which kept me on track, and also 'the church whose judgement I fear.
What have I learnt this week? Engaging with social media honestly forces up issues which have been laying dormant for years.
And what does this teach me about the new type of 'church' I want to be a part of? That it has to take people as they really are, and that I have to be in it as I really am.
Again, nothing I am saying here which is new. But saying it here is new.
And what have I found?
I've found that I fear bring the real me on Twitter as so many people there are part of 'the church'.
And yet, I was not able to avoid the commitment I had made on Sunday as there were so many tweets from the Christian new media conference that were exploring issues of authenticity, persona etc that I was faced with my explorations regularly.
So it was 'the church' which kept me on track, and also 'the church whose judgement I fear.
What have I learnt this week? Engaging with social media honestly forces up issues which have been laying dormant for years.
And what does this teach me about the new type of 'church' I want to be a part of? That it has to take people as they really are, and that I have to be in it as I really am.
Again, nothing I am saying here which is new. But saying it here is new.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
church leaders in cunning disguise
Today was in a meeting to discuss youth worker training, in the midst of the conversations there were some gems from the marvellous Brec Seaton. It has got me wondering if my exploration of a new kind of church community in Lancaster combined with my youth work experience and training have a connection... maybe I am not put of my depth with the new stuff as I have been leading 'church' for years with young people.
So if there are so- called youth workers in our churches they might be church leaders in cunning disguse. But the challenge to my work in that , and the institution of church , is what are we doing to train, support and develop these church leaders? Little I would suggest because we thought they were 'just' youth workers and we've been offering training and support for that.
So if there are so- called youth workers in our churches they might be church leaders in cunning disguse. But the challenge to my work in that , and the institution of church , is what are we doing to train, support and develop these church leaders? Little I would suggest because we thought they were 'just' youth workers and we've been offering training and support for that.
Monday, May 16, 2011
so what is worship?
There was unanimous agreement from the family that what we all needed was a new kind of church where we sit and eat and chat about God and things.
I asked the wise 15 year old christian, 12 year old agnostic and 41 year old atheist if we did that, would it be worship. They agreed it would if we were talking about God; and of course the super-wise 15 year old said that it would make a difference if we had conversations with a sense of Hope. She truly is very wise.
So now I am musing, is it worship? or is it fellowship? and is there a difference? and is that difference a sense of Hope of encounter with God?
I asked the wise 15 year old christian, 12 year old agnostic and 41 year old atheist if we did that, would it be worship. They agreed it would if we were talking about God; and of course the super-wise 15 year old said that it would make a difference if we had conversations with a sense of Hope. She truly is very wise.
So now I am musing, is it worship? or is it fellowship? and is there a difference? and is that difference a sense of Hope of encounter with God?
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